My Father's Blood

"Life can change so fast," said Vincent Vasta, "In one day I was diagnosed with kidney failure and I lost my job. All in one day". Vasta rests in the living room of his home in Swedesboro, N.J., March 13, 2017. Last year Vasta began treating the kidney failure with home dialysis, a process that requires him to hook-up to a machine each night to extract the toxins from his blood. The treatment is extremely taxing on his physical, mental, and emotional health. "If I stopped doing the dialysis I'd have two weeks to live."

I was never very close to my father. His inability to form a meaningful relationship, distance, and neglect towards my family subsequently led to my growing resentment towards him.

Several years ago my father's health took a decline when his kidneys failed and he came near death as a result. Time in and out of the hospital removed him from his job, placed more pressure on family relationships and drove him farther into his own head.

Last year he began home dialysis treatment. He created his hospital-like bedroom next to mine. Through the wall, I could hear the dialysis machine doing the work of his kidneys, in the morning I could hear him crying over his devotionals, and at night I heard his frustration during sleeplessness.

I wanted to forgive my father. I have no right to hold a grudge against anyone in life, especially my own family. And I wanted to see what was happening on the other side of that wall. Photographing my father became a way for me to gain more empathy and understand him a little more. It was a time for me see his plight and to help me forgive and connect with him.

Especially now, since his passing in April 2019, I am grateful for that short time.

Two photos of Vasta in his youth. Left, Vasta is seen as a teenager between his late father and former Mayor Rizzo of Philadelphia. Right, Vasta is seen with his high school prom date.

Vasta empties used dialysate fluid bags into a sink. The dialysate liquid is what home dialysis patients use to extract the toxins from their bloodstream.

Vasta breaks down boxes used to store dialysate fluid bags. Vasta's room and hallway are heavily stocked with these boxes.

Vasta sits on his bed next to a few of many medications he must take in order to counter various side effects.

Vasta eats a meal prepared by his wife alone.

Vasta walks to his bedroom where his nightly routine is to hook himself up to the dialysis machine that circulates the dialysate fluid through his abdomen.

Vasta displays his peritoneal port before his daily disinfection cleaning.

While hooking up to the dialysis machine, Vasta wears a mask to ensure the process is kept sterile.